in heaven there will be… header image 1

…no vanity plates

September 7th, 2008 · 1 Comment · in heaven...

Here’s the scenario. You just got a new base-model Mercedes and you have to get new plates. Time to head on down to the Title and Tag office. But first you’ve got to brainstorm a badass new license plate to proclaim how badass you are. So you come up with a little list, in case your top choices are taken. Stuff like:

  • BADA55

Once you’ve got your new plates (let’s say you land on FATCAT), you can drive around town and show everyone how much of a cheese-dick you are. Oh look, FATCAT is at Target. FATCAT is driving on I-85, all fast and badass in his base-model Benz.

In heaven, people won’t have the option of choosing a vanity plate. Personally, I don’t think anyone who would have chosen a vanity plate will be in heaven, but I’m sure a few will slip through. In fact, there will be no way to customize your license plate at all. That’s right, your personality will have to speak for itself. Whoa. I’m sure there will be cars in heaven, because it’s so fun to drive, but I really see no need for license plates at all. No one is going to steal your car. There won’t be any crashes. There won’t be any cops running your tags.

But more important, there will definitely not be any vanity plates. They’re called vanity plates for a reason, and it’s not because they attract women.

1 response so far ↓

  • 1 Nate // Sep 23, 2008 at 11:46 pm

    “Noob” lulz… =)

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