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Entries Tagged as 'in heaven...'

…public nose picking

September 13th, 2008 · No Comments · in heaven...

I’ve always had a double standard for nose picking. Whenever I see people picking their noses I silently judge them. But whenever no one’s looking (or I think there’s a reasonable chance that no one is looking), I’m digging for gold.
The truth is, I love picking my nose. I don’t know what the big deal [...]

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…no vanity plates

September 7th, 2008 · 1 Comment · in heaven...

Here’s the scenario. You just got a new base-model Mercedes and you have to get new plates. Time to head on down to the Title and Tag office. But first you’ve got to brainstorm a badass new license plate to proclaim how badass you are. So you come up with a little list, in case [...]

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…daily, satisfying poops

August 17th, 2008 · 3 Comments · in heaven...

There aren’t many people that enjoy a good poo more than I do. But no one wants more than one poop per day. In heaven, problem solved. You’ll be able to know ahead of time when you’ll be pooping and what to expect – from 9:00-9:17am, for instance, you’ll find me on the pot, surfing [...]

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